My hair's a mess;

disc0_bloodbath @ 2004-09-24T08:53:00

2004-09-24T15:55:16Z

He makes me go...

new journal... coming soon.

ahhhh-mazing

2004-09-20T19:55:07Z

yesterday was amazing.

If you want to here the whole story, just ask me. I don't feel like writing it all out on cyberspace.

9/12

2004-09-12T08:54:08Z

I'm glad that 9/11 is over. It scares me.

I had a moment with my mom, she let me wipe my snot on her jacket.
My great great aunt is dying of cancer. She has a tumor the size of a watermelon in her stomach, crushing her vital organs, including the only kidney she has.
I saved my tears for outside. And my mom let me blow in her sleeve.

If anyone gets that;
It's love.

How can we all take so much advantage of life? This all happened to my aunt in three weeks. One month ago she was overcoming cancer; one week later a tiny tumor, that ends up growing fast, forms corrupting her whole body.

disc0_bloodbath @ 2004-09-04T17:07:00

2004-09-05T00:35:18Z

I think this is what taking drugs would feel like. Except I'm more aware of it.

disc0_bloodbath @ 2004-09-03T16:36:00

2004-09-03T23:38:03Z

all of the sudden i got sad again.
a black widow bit me. i'll be dead in ten minutes

hyperbole from a hypocondriac.
(true story: there was a black widow under my desk today.)

one more time

2004-09-01T19:41:15Z

Leave a comment with your name if you want to know what I really think of you, and I'll reply and tell you. No lies, all honesty.

Post it in your journal after I do yours so I can see the reverse, yes?

Kiss or Kill.

2004-08-24T17:19:04Z

Kiss or Kill
every Tuesday night!

Tonight's line up:

BANG sugar BANG
Silver Needle
The Knives <---- GO!
Zeitgeist Auto Parts
Terrazzo

If you're not doing anything.. GO!
18+.
$2.
Good Bands.
Nice People.
(Last week there was free Perrier Water.)

Zen Sushi Bar (the club's inside.)
2609 Hyperion Ave.
Silverlake (Los Angeles), CA 90027-3318

with the way you look; i understand that you are not impressed

2004-08-23T03:51:39Z

scratch all that last entry. (it's been deleted.)

i still hate this place.
but i love my job.

i'm trying to send jason a song with my slow dial-up connection.
how embarassing.
it's like.. frozen slow.

i fixed my car with my dad today. it was fun.
need your fan belt replaced? i could do it.
need your oil checked? water replaced?
i want to learn how to change oil.

kthnx

i think you're beautiful; a contradiction.

2004-08-21T17:08:37Z

supposed to go see Moose, my loppy eared bunny that we had to give away when we moved, and the new owners weren't awake yet. we drove to covina for nothing.

i didn't get to see Moose.

so i cried. the whole way home. i don't care how old you are [19], you don't take an animal away from someone. exspecially not an aminal like Moose.

i hate society.

i'm really sad right now. i was really looking forward to seeing him.

I heard you let a little friend of mine take off your party dress.

2004-08-16T23:06:31Z

I am mad that people go away to college.

Why can't all the good college's be here?

mykonstantine04 leaves this week. I remember how we became friends. It was on MySpace, I see this hot bitch leaving Bernard comments. Then the rumor about him kissing some girl on the pool deck. I put two and two together and messaged her. (Don't you just love the internet?) I said something like, "I don't like girls, but you make Bernard happy. See you Friday." She wrote back something like, "I can't wait to meet all of Bernard's friends." I felt like such a butthole, but I had to protect my friend. Within the first couple weeks of us talking online, she told me so many stories and secrets, she actually trusted me. For once, I had an actual friend that was a girl. :) Immediatly she became friends with all of us. For months we would talk about how cute they were (are!), and how happy he is, and how great she is.

One night, Steph wrote about us being a big family, and I had to agree. We are. One big fuckin' family. I love it.

Last Child shows deffinetly won't be the same without one of our hot nurses, or someone else to make fun of emoXcore kids, girls with their broken hearted t-shirts, or someone to laugh at me while I tell off girls who hit on my friends.

Steph, you will be missed.

deepinsideofme7 is also leaving this week. I remember when I became friends, rather than acquiantances with her. I was like, totally in love with Russel Shiedigger, and she took me to an away water polo game.

I always had so much fun with Debra on cheer. She was the only other one who burped and farted and talked about potty stuff with me. (Pretty hot?) She farted in her megaphone one day, and I think I peed my pants laughing. We had so much fun that year. Until Jessie came and was a butt.

Then, my senior year, Debra and I started, THE YAK.

YAAAAAAAAAKKKKK!

We pisse off so many people. We would YAK in our microphones during football games at the crowd. I think we pissed off Melissa the most. Haha. Poor girl, listening to us YAK all game long.

Aww, I'm going to miss you. (But the lady at my work looks exactly like you, so I still have her. Ha ha, jay kay.)

Aww, I'm super sad now.

FUCK FUCK CUNT FUCK

2004-08-16T06:21:11Z

I had a great day.

Has anyone seen the episode of Family Guy, "Road to Europe", where Stewie writes Brian the letter, when he's leaving for Europe? He start's it out, "Dear Stupid Dog," and if you watch Family Guy, you can imagine Stewie's voice. Well, this is to my ex boyfriend, Chris.

Dear Stupid Ex-Boyfriend;

I hope you're drunken and high dirty unprotected sex was full of fake orgasms from that slut, and also plenty of STD's from that slut; down at the river this weekend. I hope you caught everything you're friends bring in, because SHE'S SLEPT WITH THEM TOO.

You can tell your raunchy, dirty, scummy, loser ass friends to stop calling me on the weekends, because NO, I don't want to hang out with them, or hook up with them. I had plenty fun hooking up with my own friends this weekend.

Love,
Ashley

I'll send it tomorrow. Haha.

That last part was a lie, just because he was jealous that all my friends were guys.

So, tonight we were all at Shane's and I had to be the party pooper and leave early because I have a job. Boo.

Jamie, who is Chris's friend called me while I was in the pool. Shane, being the funny fuck he is, answered it. "FUCK FUCK CUNT FUCK!" I didn't care who it was or anything. All my friends that would of called me, were there, and I had already talked to my mom.

Later I see, who had called. So I called him back saying sorry, but I was with all my guy friends, and we were in the pool, and one of them just answered it because it was ringing. Me: "Oh you know, my friend's parents are out of town, so we've just been hanging out here all weekend." Him: "Oh that's cool, I was seeing if you wanted to catch a movie."

NO YOU GOD DAMN LOSER. Shane was like "why would he even want to?" Haha, I love Shane. He's been so helpful to me lately.

I'm freaking tired. And sunburnt, kind of. Ugh, work tomorrow.

Steph, I'm glad you were there tonight. :)

beach day

2004-08-15T14:24:05Z

I'm not feeling well at all.
I can't back out of the beach day though.
It's just me and Jason, and everyone else backed out.

I wish we would of gone.. like right now, it's 7:15 a.m., so I could see all the hottie surfers.

Shane's having a party tonight. When Pat called me to tell me, I got all excited, because we rarely all hang out together. I was like, "I'll bring the.." and Pat said, "You'll bring the sex." It was exactly like a Family Guy character I couldn't think of. I laughed pretty hard. I hope I'm the only girl there. :)

deleted

2004-08-15T03:22:48Z

I deleted my last whiney entry.

Today was weird.

.. and tonight I'm home alone.

Call me. Or just come over. My door's always open.

Or I.M. me. :o)

Jesse's Girl

2004-08-14T18:45:53Z

I'm watching 13 Going On 30.

I really like this movie.
Jennifer Garner is beautiful.
I really want some razzles.
I love sappy movies.
Mark Ruffalo is really hot, and I want someone like him.

Shane explained the song Maps to me last night. It almost made me want to cry. I can't beleive I have liked that song for so long now, and I never understood it.

"Love is a battel field."

The version of "Such Great Heights" in Garden State owns you.
I think that's all I want to post right now.
I talked to Jimi last night.
I missed him.
Okay, now I'm done.

Pippi Longstockings is coming into your town..

2004-08-14T08:45:03Z

Did anyone else ever watch Pippi Longstockings when they were little kids? The ladies at work bought it for me on DVD for my birthday, so here, at 1:30 a.m. I'm totally watching it. (Plus my sister just texted me, asking me what the horses name was. It's Alfonso.)

It was a long night.

I shouldn't of gone out. I wasn't in the mood, I was just bored. I think I just made everyone mad.

A lot of good came out of tonight. I had a long talk with my mom, whether she took it seriously or not is the question.
I flat out asked her to treat me like a daughter, not a roommate.
And much more.

Still nasaly. I like my voice when it's nasaly.
It's funny.

Alysia, I busted out the dance concert tapes! &hearts;

nyquil

2004-08-13T04:40:03Z

I'm sick.

I woke up with a sore throat and a cold.
Got sent home/went home early from work.
What a boring day.

If I stay home from work tomorrow, I hope I just sleep all day.

I started unpacking today, after one month of living here. It was nice to throw more stuff away.

One box was labeled "Yardsale", I just tossed it. It felt good.

Now, my room is a big gigantic messy poo. I put my VHS's under my DVD player in a cabinet. I hate VHS. There's way too many here.

I found this tiny dry-erase board that my sister had played with on Thanksgiving. I never erased it. It was so cool. She drew a bunch of cute pictures, and we were watching IDR the Video Album, so she wrote "CKY" and "Misty Monday" all cool like. Well, I threw it away. There wasn't anywhere to keep it.

Since I'm all into movies, I was thinking of covering this old ugly nightstand with movie stubs and shlacking over the top. Maybe paiting the legs bright pink or something fun. But then, the more I think of that, the idea sounds kind of ugly. Maybe just black legs. Eh?

I'm off to hopefully a good nights sleep.

eerr.. Garden State

2004-08-12T17:50:04Z

It'd be very rude of me to mention names, but the two main characters in the movie "Garden State" remind me of two people I know very well. Ten bucks says, it's not you. They either won't be reading this, or they'll shrug it off.

I recommend that movie to everyone. It seems like an important movie to see.

I saw it with Shane, and since I was with him, I think I held back from crying. I shouldn't of.
One of the lines that Natalie Portman's (who is BEAUTIFUL) character says is "I look forward to a good cry."
So true.
I love crying.

Please go see that movie, and if you have, let me know what you thought of it. <333

***EDIT***

I'm updating this entry, but I'm keeping the previous one.

Debra and Daisy both had good questions, I guess I should of explained the movie.

The movie is about a guy who basically doesn't feel feelings. He doesn't show emotion. He lives in this plain world. (He's also on lots of medication.)

When he goes back home for his mom's funeral, he catches up with a bunch of people and the ends up meeting Sam, (Natalie Portman's character). It's just really amazing how different they are, yet you see the lvoe between them grow so much. Here he is with no emotion about his mom, and she's crying because she's so compassionate. It's jsut strange, yet so wonderful, that two people SO different can end up falling in love.

No, there isn't a tragic ending, but it's not a cheesy happy one either. It's a satisfying ending. Good enough to cry for.

It's so weird, right after I wrote my first entry, I started crying thinking about the movie.
It was truely... amazing.
Maybe I'm just weird.
Hope I asnwered your questions.

Garden State

2004-08-12T16:27:04Z

I recommend that movie to everyone. It seems like an important movie to see.

Please go see that movie, and if you have, let me know what you thought of it. <333

disc0_bloodbath @ 2004-08-11T08:48:00

2004-08-11T15:45:16Z

once again, tired.

P.S.

2004-08-10T17:49:46Z

If you're on MySpace, add me. But please message me first so I know who you are.

AshleY

gross

2004-08-10T03:30:50Z

my life is becoming junior year all over again. and that scares me and makes me sad.

Chris and I weren't even together this time. Last year I thought I was over him for two weeks; in April I had been over him since after Valentine's Day. HOW LONG UNTIL YOU SHOW UP WITH TULIPS AND A MIX CD THIS TIME?

This is to the guy who broke your heart. To the one's who broke mine. And to the one's ahead of us who will do it again.

here's to many nights of sleepless tears. isn't crying supposed to make you tired?

here's to something corporate for writting just the right lyrics to make me break down in the middle of my room, because they must of known my situation. "how can you ask for me to stay when all you ever do it go?"

Here's to the poem he wrote me that made me cry then; and made me cry yesterday.

this is for the silly nicknames we'd call each other. which really seem silly and childish now.

it's to those nights spent sneaking out and back into my house just to see you.

for all those times you let me down. for every promise broken, yet forgotten so easily.

for every kiss, every hug, every long gaze into his eyes.

I needed that.
I just want to feel safe in my own skin.
I most deffinetly need that.

disc0_bloodbath @ 2004-08-09T09:04:00

2004-08-09T16:00:53Z

Tired.

the beach

2004-08-09T02:53:26Z

The Beach was so much fun today. Poor Ben was waiting for us at his house for like at least 45 minutes; while we were already at the beach.

Lack of communication is the problem with my guy friends. I've noticed them all gossiping lately.

How cute, they named me one of their "Bros" today. They've been saying "Bros before Hoes" a lot lately, and since I'm not any of their girlfriends, I am a "Bro."

It actually made me really happy.

But just being with all of them, plus Ben (who's exactly like Shane and Paul) was just hillarious. I love it We burried Pat, Kevin got lost boogie boarding, my hair was ugly, Paul's back was peeling excessivly, Ben took two hours to get to us and ended up using Kevin's parking pass and called the lady a dumb bitch after she didn't even check his pass, and Shane kept adding FUCK at the end of everything which was hillarious. "Ouch, shell fuck"

I am getting better.

beach and a bad dream

2004-08-08T16:41:21Z

I had a horrible dream last night. Something about telling someone to go cut their wrists; and giving a lap dance, because I was a stripper.

Even though I dislike this person, I would NEVER say that to them.

So sad. They cried. A lot.

The lap dance was on some hot guy who was this person's step brother. But it's not real. This person doesn't exsist. And I'd never give a lap dance, and I'd never be a stripper.

Oh and I had Megan Aguilar's (kissme_and_run ) phone? I found it, and it was so cute. So this person I told to go kill themselves made me give it back, I was already going to, but she called Megan for me.

So weird to be dreaming about people you never even see, and others who, sadly, don't exsist.

My life is awkward lately. I have to go style my bangs. Bleh.

Beach day today with all the guys. Wooo. I'm so excited. They make me happy. If only Alysia were going....

disc0_bloodbath @ 2004-08-07T00:00:00

2004-08-07T07:02:40Z

I'm sick of this:

R.I.P. Rick James.

Rick James is dead, BITCH.

Rick James died TODAY!!

I don't know who Rick James is, nor do I care.
This trend will be out soon.

mmkaythnx